American Hookup Culture Is Getting Boring

Image Courtesy: Strike Magazine Tallahassee

The American Psychology Association defines hookup culture as an “uncommitted sexual encounter”, which is funny because it is anything but uncommitted. There’s a nuanced and calculated game that surrounds the act of “hooking up” with someone. Avoid eye contact, pretend not to care, wait at least five minutes before you respond to a text or Snapchat, avoid publicization, and most importantly, do not get attached.

There is an obvious devoted commitment to hookup culture that we not only accept but cherish as any other handbook. The convoluted web of social relationships in college is created based on whom we are physically involved with.

She hates her because she hooked up with her ex.

He blocked her because she hooked up with his bro.

She can't go out tonight because he will be there.

And the list goes on.

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But after the fifth or sixth round of a failed talking stage, we get bored. The excitement that stems from seeing their name pop up on your phone dissipates as time goes on, and eventually the cycle restarts. They are off to the next while you are left to question your whole identity. The game that once brought exhilaration to our teenage selves has now become an old and abused the process. Not to mention, is it even worth our time and energy anymore? Although American hookup culture can supply the instant gratification of validation, sexual liberation, and desire, it lacks the simple foundation that our human nature craves. As humans, we need emotional intimacy and security. Our biological makeup is not equipped to handle alienation, especially when it involves sex.

A common theory that has been circulating in recent years touches upon sex and energy. During sexual encounters, extreme feelings of happiness, pleasure, motivation, and even creativity are transferred to our partners. This energy that we release is important and should be handled carefully by people we trust in our lives, even hookups. Some even say when participating in hookup culture, we must protect this energy from others. It becomes yet another rule in the hookup handbook: don’t let them feel your energy, because it will be taken advantage of.

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American hookup culture doesn't only negate this energy, it doesn't even acknowledge it exists. We refer to those who believe in love and romance as hopeless romantics because the idea of romance within our lifestyle is seen as unattainable. We believe that we will never find someone we truly care about in college because everyone is hung up on the one-night stand.

But the problem never really stems from sex. We are not bored of sexual experiences. We are bored of everything else it lacks. A first date, flirting, foreplay, and other important aspects of attraction. American hookup culture is boring because it lacks an emphasis on all the fun parts of casual dating that other cultures acknowledge. A quick trip to Europe and you can find yourself on a candle-lit dinner with your sneaky link. We can participate in hookup culture without it being unfulfilling and outright boring. We just need to discard the rules and create new ones.

Strike Out,

Writer: Sophia Yunaev

Editor: Jayna O

Graphic Designer: Katie Boucher

Tallahassee