All Hail Sock Supremacy
Image Courtesy: Strike FSU
Perhaps it is because I once paid sixty dollars for a five-minute visit to the podiatrist, but feet seriously disturb me. I know my saying this might offend the Dan Schneiders of the world, but I cannot help it; there is something strangely primal about a foot’s shape and character, something childish and unfinished. It is like biting into a Hot Pocket with a frozen center, or those nightmarish, drooping SpongeBob popsicles sold from ice cream trucks; an attempt was obviously made, with the best of intentions, but the outcome is half-baked and wrong somehow.
To me, feet resemble something from the uncanny valley. I do not mean to ridicule them; I am grateful for all that they do, but I understand why Seymour Glass has a meltdown after he catches a stranger on the elevator staring at his feet. This brings me to my point: socks are a blessing. I wear socks to bed, around the house, at the beach, pretty much anywhere. I suppose my punishment for this is an unusual tan line, but that is a small price to pay for the relief of seldom having to face those infamous ten little piggies. However, while I can endure an unseemly tan line or two, I refuse to forsake fashion in my quest for a life free of feet-fret.
Socks, like so many little miracles in this life, are often overlooked, playing second fiddle to shoes, a glitzy, exhibitionist piece of footwear akin to that sibling of yours whose purpose in life is to one-up you. As a result, too many people are at ease pulling the same ankle-length pair of white socks from their drawers every morning. To that, I say we must all be willing to tread new ground. For, if we are stuck with these peculiar appendages, why not style them to the max—with socks of stripes, sparkles, and spots? Why not accessorize our feet in garments that dare to run past our ankles and calves? Why not put our best foot forward—socks on, of course. If I seem melodramatic, it is only because I believe that the day of reckoning over this neglected article of clothing is long overdue.
Alicia Silverstone’s Cher from Clueless is a perfect example. It would be beneath her, fashion whiz that she is, to pair her beret and red plaid outfit with a simple pair of black pumps, so she adds black thigh-high socks to the ensemble. Her socks simultaneously cover her legs and draw attention to them by revealing a cheeky bit of thigh and accentuating her mini-dress.
Image Courtesy: kissthemgoodbye.net
Here, we have socks with stilettos. You may think it is wrong, but Rihanna knows it is right, as she has proven time and time again. With her socks-and-heels combo, she can easily ditch the after-party for a slumber party, no outfit change necessary. Her socks make unlikely friends of contrasting patterns and add a velvety texture to her outfit. Like her genre-bending music, her socks are dynamic.
If you ever feel the Daria and Strawberry Shortcake identities within you at war, allow Instagram influencer Sydney Szramowski to demonstrate how to bring peace to your inner being. These adorable, almost saccharine, socks offset the sleek black of her platform sandals for a tongue-in-cheek look that screams identity crisis in the most endearing way.
This fall, if you feel about feet the way I do, make your fear metamorphose into worship for the sock, a bit of footwear in which we should all take solace.
Strike Out,
Writer: Roxy Rico
Editor: Lexi Fernandez
Graphics: Tiffany Breen
Tallahassee