Taking Back What’s Ours: Coming Of Age In Your Twenties
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This past weekend, I turned 20 — which, while obviously very exciting (new decade!), came coupled with the terrifying, stomach-dropping realization that I’m not going to be a teenager anymore. I’m not sure why this thought was so jarring at first (perhaps because I can’t blame my tragic sleep schedule and impulsive shopping on “just being a kid” anymore), but the anxiety of my sudden self-awareness of impending adulthood is certainly one that is particularly shared and known by my generation.
With the unexpected events of the past two years, many of us missed out on some of the most culturally embedded signifiers of teenager-ness and milestones of growing up. The senior year of high school that we hoped would be reminiscent of every cheesy teen movie was cut short, throwing our preconceived notions of progression into adulthood in a strange limbo and freezing our idealized youth in time. For many, there were no battles for prom court, no victorious final championships and performances, no graduation stages, no wild summer parties — just a timeless blip in our lives and the somewhat unmarked progression into college. Our first years of college were also not quite as wild and exciting as we’d hoped. Instead, they required us to adjust to a confusing and unpredictable mode of living, to be more responsible than previous classes — to grow up faster.
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I think some of the panic with realizing just how old 20 feels comes from feeling like we didn’t really get the extent of our promised teen years and all of the exciting chaos, blissful irresponsibility and quintessential coming-of-age moments that they contain. Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic here, but we owe it to ourselves to make the absolute most of the coming years. Our generation is all the wiser from some hard-won lessons of the past few years, and I intend to take those lessons and make my 20s the most exhilarating, joyful, spontaneous and interesting years of my life. I’m reclaiming my 20s to have all of my coming-of-age movie moments, and you can’t stop me. Here are some of my plans on how to do just that:
Learn to go a little easier on yourself. It’s okay, and vital even, to give yourself a break from the pressure and relax. Remind yourself that you are still a kid just growing up and that there is more time to figure things out than it seems.
Spend time truly getting to know yourself. Wake up and ask yourself exactly what you want to do today, like a kid. Be intentional in the things with which you choose to fill your life and time, and practice saying no to the things (and people) you don’t actually really like. Have you been putting off walking through that museum? Have you been wanting to find a new niche obsession? Go, do it!
Stop comparing your life with others over social media. We spend so much time and energy curating our online identity, and the long quarantine tied our generation into an illusory “connectedness” that, really, is just loneliness. We are desperate for empathy and to be known for who we uniquely are, but look beyond the screen. Ask your friends for understanding – you’d be surprised by how powerful a little vulnerability can be.
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4. Don’t forget to water your flowers. Look around and recognize the wonderful things and people in your life already, and invest in them. Consider how you show up for them, not merely how they show up for you; the care that you put into the things and people that matter will give back to you.
5. Finally, our generation knows best of all just how fleeting these years of our lives are, so live out the cliche and make the most of them! Our 20s are some of the best years to live fully in the present, so don’t waste time worrying about the future or the past and instead dive into just how uncertain and exciting it is to be a 20-something at this very moment. They’re called the Roaring ‘20s for a reason, so go live it up.
Strike Out,
Writer: Mary Clare Cameron
Editors: Kimani Krienke, Natalie Daskal, Will Kennedy, Mary Clare Cameron
Writing Director: David Kramer
Blog Director: Helenna Xu
Notre Dame
